Dating Tips: 9 Signs a Guy Is a Keeper. Lol really now?

Below is probably the reason why women have such a hard time finding men. They articles just like the one you’re about to read, and then get confused when they can’t find this paradox of a man. Let’s begin.

#1. Keeper clue: He has his act together.
This seems like a no-brainer, but it’s a good place to start. "It’s very important that you two be able to have a lot of fun together, so a party boy or a screw-up will probably not work out for you," says Mira Kirshenbaum, a family and couples therapist and author of Is He Mr. Right? "No matter how charming he is, if he is still struggling to grow up, it will get very old, very fast."

You know what gets really old, really fast? When your girlfriend decides it’s time to play Dr. Phil and constantly tries to change you. Why would you bother hooking up with someone you initially wouldn’t want to date in the first place ladies? If you decided to be with your man with the intention of manipulating him into being someone else, you’re in it for the wrong reason.

#2. Keeper clue: He puts you first.
Picture a delicious platter of grilled steak. Does your man offer it to you first to pick the best piece? He does if he’s a keeper! "When it comes to taking the best piece of meat or offering it to you, that’s a metaphor for how he’d always put you first the rest of your life," says Rachel Greenwald, author of "Why He Didn’t Call You Back: 1,000 Guys Reveal What They Really Thought of You After Your Date."

You’ve got to be ******* kidding me. I hope most women that read this can agree with me right away that no woman wants a man that makes every decision ever based on your preference. If you think otherwise, you have zero experience with the opposite sex, and you should not waste your time reading any further because there is no helping you. All you’re going to do is make a cute comment about how you’re right and go on pretending like you’ve got it all figured out. Alone. At your computer. Good job.

#3. Keeper clue: He’s not afraid of your germs.
You know a guy is really into you when he can’t stay away, even when you’re bedridden and snotty. "When you’re sick with the flu, he says, ‘Let me come over and take care of you,’ rather than, ‘Oooh, you sound really contagious… call me when you’re feeling better,’" Greenwald says.

Look, I’m all for womens health and such, but I don’t think you want me coming over to see you at your worst. How many of you ladies can honestly say you want your man to see you laying in bed sick with snot oozing out of your nose? Call me if you need me, but I’d rather not catch whatever the hell is making that happen to you.

#4. Keeper clue: He’s a family man.
He asks about your family, and he seems to genuinely want to hear about them. "Interest in your family shows that he thinks about you as a whole person, and he knows that being with you means understanding and accepting your relatives too," says Sarah Harrison, senior editor of yourtango.com.

Oh shut up. Family is the most boring topic in the history of man. It sure as **** doesn’t make for any sort of interesting conversation. Men and women can both agree on this.

#5. Keeper clue: He makes time for your friends.
In the beginning of your relationship, does your man show an interest in meeting your besties? And does he follow it up with a plan, like hosting a low-key dinner party? "Friends are an important part of your life, and his knowing them makes him more involved with you." Harrison says. "Plus, he’ll have to deal with them at some point, so initiating it himself shows maturity."

Ok, joke’s over. Who is this book really for? Dinner parties? Is this advice catering to high class strippers that don’t have any reservations about their men hooking up with their girlfriends? I think so, because I don’t know any woman alive that isn’t at least a little jealous of her girlfriends making googliy eyes with her man.

#6. Keeper clue: He’s your biggest cheerleader.
And she even has a poem:
When your guy calls your mom to tell her about your promotion before you do, that should tell you something. A man who is supportive of you and your goals is typically a guy who doesn’t "feel threatened by your success," says Kirshenbaum. "He knows who he is and where he’s going," which means he can ultimately be there for you.

You’re killing me. I was already convinced to say something before I even read this one, but holy mother of god. Ok, raise your hand if you want a boyfriend to act like a 10 year old boy scout. Good, I’m never going have any kind of meaningful relationship with any of you. Moving on.

#7. Keeper clue: He remembers the little things.
Does your man really listen to you? You’ll know he’s a keeper if you tell him you have a big scary work meeting and the next time you talk, he asks how it went. Or if you tell him you left your sunglasses at his house and he remembers them on your next date.
"Following up on things you say to him means he pays attention to you — always a good sign," Harrison says.

I make it a point from the get go that I do not care about the little things like dates that we did something, or that oh-so-special one year anniversary. Ok cool, we made it a year without breaking up. Is this a record for you or something? Are you that insecure in your ability to keep a man that you need to keep a record? I was kinda hoping we could spend the day together and enjoy our relationship together like usual without you whining and crying because I forgot that 365 days ago I said, "Hey, wanna go out?" But I guess that’s asking too much. My bad.
#8. Keeper clue: He’s happy when you’re happy.
This is the guy who "goes to a chick flick with you on Friday night rather than an action film — not because he actually wants to, but because it makes you happy," says Greenwald.

Over my dead body. This man does not exist. HE DOES NOT EXIST. Show me a man that is happy about seeing a chick flick over something way more fun and exciting that will actually matter in the long run, and I will show you a damned liar. This is not the kind of man you want to date. Wanna know why he’s sitting there grinning like an idiot reading every word with you? He didn’t sit through Nights in Rodanthe just so you two could talk about how interesting it was. Clue: It was the sex.
#9. Keeper clue: He makes you the best you can be.
A guy who makes you feel like the luckiest woman alive — like you can (and should!) be your confident, fabulous self — is worth hanging on to. "It’s not just about how you feel about him but more about how he makes you feel about yourself," Kirshenbaum says.

This one, surprisingly, I won’t argue you. I love women, and I love making them happy. There’s nothing I get more enjoyment from than actually having a fun lasting relationship with someone, but the rest of these tips are pretty much wrong. I had to say it because it makes me sick stuff like this makes it on the Yahoo front page.
Which brings me to my question. Honestly, how the hell did this make it on the front page? It’s almost completely wrong in every way, and whoever wrote it has no idea what they’re talking about. Agree or disagree.
Hey now Izkeshia. I aint no little boy, and I don’t recall saying that I dont’ have my **** together. Clearly you’d realize that already if you were mature enough yourself. And another thing, don’t vent your dating frustrations on me. I can see right through that childish little act of yours with all the name calling. You’ve been through some tough times with someone that didn’t have their act together, and I can understand that. I’m also willing to forgive you just this once, but you need to get a grip.

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