Tips for online dating success?
After taking a 9 month hiatus, I am considering get "back out there." However, I am in my late twenties and it’s definitely harder to meet people than it was in college! I am done dating people at work (which is how I met my two long term boyfriends) and, due to time constrictions, I think online dating may be the best route.
Please only answer if you have a) done online dating and b) had success. I don’t need to hear how "lame" it is. Actually,I think that attitude is highly outdated and I’ve already decided to proceed, so it’s pointless to answer if you have a negative attitude towards this subject.
On a more positive note, any tips are appreciated. Here’s a little about me: Female, 28, college-educated.
Some of my main questions:
1) Okay to e-mail men, or should I wait until they e-mail me?
2) How do I respond to the cheesy "winks"??
3)How long is "too long" to e-mail back and forth before meeting?
4) What to do if they keep e-mailing without asking for my phone number?
I just really want to go about this in a classy manner that allows me to meet a lot of quality men, but also retain my pride and a little bit of ‘mystery." MEN’S FEEDBACK WELCOME!!!!!!!!!!
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Online Dating Tips
1. Don’t lie on your profile. The online dating process works best if you are honest.
2. Always exchange 3 emails before speaking on the phone. Ask questions that reveal more as the conversation progresses.
3. After 3 preferably detailed emails are exchanged, and no sooner than two emails into a discourse, ask for pictures. The more the better. Anyone can take ONE good picture.
4. If you are still interested you are now ready to move to a phone conversation. Ask for their number. Many things can be revealed over the phone. The lack of time available to craft an email is eliminated. You now see how the person responds to questions and conversations on the fly. If voice is important to you, you now have another piece of the puzzle.
5. Once you have exchanged emails, photos, and spoken on the phone you can now consider a face to face date. I suggest meeting for drinks in an intimate, but not overly romantic or dark setting, at a venue where drinks can easily be extended to dinner. This provides the invaluable options of having one drink and ending the date without appearing rude or extending a date to multiple drinks or dinner if things go well. Furthermore, you can manage cost and time spent until such time as you confirm that you really want to spend more time with the person. Many an active dater finds themselves spending hundreds of dollars a month on dates with people they have no interest in seeing a secondtime.
You’re right, dating online is a great way to quickly get out there. Even if you don’t meet "the one" at least you get out.
I have been meeting women online for over 12 years, and write tips (mostly for men, but you might find them useful) at http://onlinedatingmatchmaker.com
For all of your questions, its definitely up to personal style, but I’ll give you my take based upon my experiences:
1) It’s definitely okay to e-mail men. I advise just writing a short message with a question about something specific in your profile. This saves your energy (because people don’t reply for a variety of reasons), but gets the conversation rolling.
2) I advise men to NEVER "wink." It’s my opinion that winking is for women to do, then the guys can take it from there. There are some who disagree with me, but most women I’ve talked to find them creepy, and thus don’t respond. If you don’t think they’re creepy, and are interested in the guy, just respond with something like "good to hear from you" and a short message with a couple of questions related to their profile.
3) Most of the women I’ve met within 2-3 message exchanges (about a week, depending upon our schedules). I advise meeting as soon as comfortably possible, a) things can really run out of steam in text, and b) you can meet in person and find there’s no spark, thus wasting your time and energy.
4) This is another issue of personal style. If prefer men who are more "take charge" you might be better of just not responding anymore (this is generally acceptable). If you’re okay with a shyer guy, then suggest a meeting time and place, and give him your number! I know there was one girl I exchanged messages with only a couple of times and she did this. She later confided in me that it was driving her nuts that it was taking me so long to "make a move," and that really appealed to her. From what I understand many of the men on sites like match.com can be overly aggressive when it comes to initiating further contact.
Good luck – dating online is lots of fun because you can go on a couple of dates *per week* and meet all sorts of people you would never have met otherwise. If you have anymore questions, just message me or contact me through my website!
hi there,
Online dating is an interesting way to enter the dating spectrum. One of the major advantages is the higher level of possibility to narrow down the results to those of your own preference, while at the same time providing you with the benefit of you holding on and providing what kind of outlook you can provide without much problems or complications so what I’m going to do is give out some simple details that’ll help you gain a better idea on online dating:
1. Try not to lie when it comes to your profile
Thing is that if your on a social networking or an online dating website and you lie to some extent or even a major extent and you somehow wind up getting someone from that website to come into your real life, and if the truth comes out, wouldn’t that lead to heartbreak and the possibility of the relationship ending. So its best if you are honest, don’t reveal everything but whatever you do, make sure it’s honest
2. Stop using those old photos!
Oh come on I mean, old photos if your going bald for gods sake at least let the person know I mean come on, a 10 year old picture while you a strapping young lad with pectoral abs and god knows what and now you’ve got a chubby belly not fair to the person on the other side of the screen don’t ya think? Same goes for the ladies; it’s understandable that after some time the bosom sags, but not a lot of men these days tend to mind that.
3. Stop spending too much time on the website.
I mean it will make you look very desperate if you are online 24/7 on MySpace or any other website for that matter, if you WANT to give out the impression that you are in fact THAT desperate then be my guest.
4. Don’t Jump Into Anything
Take your time when it comes to online dating, don’t jump into anything just because it’s feeling right, until you’ve been confirmed on details etc, best not to go on out and reveal all your details, if you HAVE to talk on the phone best suggestion is, make sure it’s a Cellphone makes life a lot more simpler.
5. Finally, Always be safe
While there are always success stories about on how online dating helped a lot of people, there are always the bad stories about people who’ve faced a lot of problems and in some cases some very horrid event’s if you have children and are a single parent its best to keep everything on a very cautious level.
I’m a guy and have been dating online for a couple of years. It’s perfectly fine for you (a woman) to contact the guy first or ask for his phone number. Try to find out as much about the other person as you can, and if you like him online, then meet him. If he holds off too long, then move to someone else.
I’ve tried 4 different dating sites, and out of the 4, match.com is definitely the best.
It’s definitely worth signing up for, especially if you do it through http://www.iteya.com
Iteya.com awards you points towards gift certificates to stores like Amazon.com on your initial subscription to Match.com (and other stores).
For instance,
a 1-month subscription can get you a $10 Amazon.com gift certificate
a 3-month subscription can get you a $25 Amazon.com gift certificate
a 6-month subscription can get you a $50 Amazon.com gift certificate
this is the basic steps you need to follow :
1-Pick the Perfect Profile Photo
2-Use Your Username to Reveal Your Interests
3-Don’t Say It, Prove It! And Be Specific
1) Okay to e-mail men, or should I wait until they e-mail me?
Generally, I’d advise letting the man initiate contact, but if there is someone who really sparks your interest then send them a wink.
2) How do I respond to the cheesy "winks"??
), then email him back with a short message, to get the conversation started.
If you like the cheesey winker
3)How long is "too long" to e-mail back and forth before meeting?
This will vary. I’d definitely say that you should always speak on the phone at least a couple of times before meeting up. Some guys really are looking for a serious relationship and want to get to know the person first (this happened to me, I nearly ditched him because I thought he wasn’t interested in me as he didn’t ask me out!). On the other hand I would say that if you’re still emailing after a couple of months, then I’d take the bull by the horns and ask him why he hasn’t asked you out!
4) What to do if they keep e-mailing without asking for my phone number?
Just say that you’re new to internet dating and you’d like to call them first. You can and should, withold your number when you do call them. Once you’ve spoken to them a couple of times, and you’ve arranged a date, then by all means give them your mobile number (but never your home phone number). Talking of first dates, there are some more hints and tips at this place:
http://www.mydatinggenie.com/