On line dating services, what am I doing wrong? My first question here, although I answer a lot of them.?
I’m a 52 y.o. divorced woman, and I recently signed up on a well known and respected online dating service. After I submitted the profile, they matched me with 12 men, all older than I. We didn’t receive pictures on this first contact, just the basic info. (I’m well-educated, professionally employed, reasonably normal, no deal-breakers there.) Ten of them immediately cancelled the match without contacting me because it "didn’t fit their parameters." OK, I was a little hurt, but went to a few of their profiles to see what I didn’t "fit." They all listed that they wanted women no older than 40! (Some said 35!) I couldn’t believe it! These guys were my age or older than ME, and I’m too old?!? The only two matches that were interested were in their late sixties. So, my question to all of you – you think it’s a waste of time to do this online? (Mickey V., I know you’ll tell me!) Ironically, I’m considered very attractive, but don’t have alot of time in real life to meet men.
You guys are the BEST! I feel better already.
And Mickey, I live in NY state, not NYC (unfortunately.) UP-state….like Albany upstate…..(now you see my problem, grin!) And he’s right about the books, folks, I am a graduate student with a hectic and full schedule, that’s why I tried the online dating, but I will try it in person again.
Thank you all – the Answers community at its best! Gratefully, Kate
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Tags: 12 men, Dating Service, Dating Services, deal breakers, first contact, graduate student, Lot, match, mickey, Online Dating, Parameters, Profiles, sixties, Waste Of Time
Guess who? Well Kate here is the deal, those on line dating schemes are just that. So save your money.
On a scale of 1-10 what level of Hawtness are you?
You live in NYC, my home town. If your that hot then just go down to one of the Irish Pubs and chill out. The nice ones, not like the Blarney Stone. Someone will start talking to you.
There is no better city to meet someone, but get away from the books for a while. The fresh air will do you good.
See that wanst so bad. And you know Im right.
If not wait, I will be back in town this week for a family thing.
MOOO HA AHAHA AAH
don’t get hurt, some men just like younger woman, there are also men that like older woman, you will find a good match soon.
It seems a bit hypocritical of the men. Just think, they probably got matched immediately because they are bunch of old guys with unrealistic demands that have been paying the matching service for years. Sounds like a pretty bad service if it can’t even meet the age requirements of others. You shouldn’t have even been matched up these clowns.
Online dating is very scary, I know alot do it, but sometimes you need to know the computer can’t read your mind like Miss Cleo…So if your gonna do this then specify the age of a man your looking for..Then you also need to know people will reject, but maybe just maybe there will be Mr. Right..
Well I can give you a little hope from a personal experience with my brother. He’s divorced, 50 years old, and he went online to meet women. H’e s a great guy, nice-looking, and responsible – in other words, a good catch. He put on his profile that he was looking for women between the ages of 48 & 52. I was so proud of him for that. He ended up meeting a woman who was exactly 52 years of age, and that was almost a year ago. I’m happy to say that they’re in love and planning to get married. One more thing. I remember my brother saying that he didn’t like that one "harmonious" website to meet women, because it was too much reading and filling out questionnaires for him. He liked the other sites better. He met his lady on the "matching" website. I didn’t want to say the actual names, but I think you can figure them out. Good luck to you, and just keep trying. It sometimes works out.
I hear ya girlfriend! They all want either women younger, ( toys) women with money or just sex.
if you have time on the computer looking, you have time to put the computer away and get out there if it’s really what your wanting.
Are you too old, Nope. But there are tricks to on line dating….. Use a big one… Match, Yahoo Personals, or e_harmony.
First, if you don’t have a killer smile, gotta get it at the best cosmetic dentist you can afford….beautiful teeth radiate health, hon, and healthy is sexy… That’s for starters. Write if you need more.
Don’t worry those guys are probably not what you wanted. I would forget about on line dating and just get out there and meet new people. either that or go to a different site.
Don’t sweat it. A lot of older men prefer younger women despite what the online matching tells them. Stick it out. My dad is 67 and I helped him get on the online personals and he found a lovely woman that he’s been with for a year. I think she is a bit younger, but not dramatically. Ignore the guys who want young chicks. There are some men out there who want their own age bracket. And some who like older women!! (wink)
I agree that it is a crock of manure that old geezers think they deserve a 30 year old. Makes me ill. I did meet a couple of decent men on eDisharmony, but for the most part it was a waste of time. However, a friend of mine ended up marrying a guy she met online. Anyway, after having divorced my ex after 15 years of marriage (very deceitful man), I think I’m throwing in the towel on men. If you are persistent you may find someone you like — I’m beginning to think the ‘bar’ scene is a better way of meeting someone.
Okay I have dated many men online. Most didn’t meet my expectations. I met my husband online playing pool. I feel you find more out about a person when you do something like that instead of profile matching. I’m 50 and we have been married 2 years.
I tried it for a couple of months when I moved to a new town and knew no one and what is funny is the women that were around my age 50 were looking for guys in their 30’s and 40’s and I had women in there early to mid 30’s contacting me , I found online dating to be a total waste of time…..
You can change your criteria too…i just go on there for fun, but never really expect to meet any of em..just change your age and the age you are searching for..lower both of them..most men, are expecting a 50 plus year old to not be hot but show em different and post a picture to prove it too.
your not doing anything wrong, they probably only want a meaningless fling. You don’t sound like that sort of woman so these men are not for you say good riddance to them. Not all men are like that you just got to keep looking. Good luck
Instead of dating sites, try connecting with people in a chat room–I met my hubby in a 40s+ room on Talkcity.com.
There’s also some 50+ rooms, some special interest rooms, and just a lot of really fun people.
Good luck to you, and don’t give up hope. Those men were apparently having a second childhood–you wouldn’t want THEIR whiny asses anyway!
Kate, this is too weird. If you are who I think you are, you are in my Tuesday night class. Are you going for your MSW, planning to be a shrink? You’re tall, slim, long red hair? If this is you, let me just say that I am dumbfounded that you are 52, I thought you were about 40. I’m 30, and I would chase you. Those guys who cancelled your profile would chew off their right hand if they knew what you looked like. Their loss.